Stop Shrinking to Fit: 5 Ways to Break the Cycle This Mother’s and Father’s Day

There comes a point in life when you realize you’ve outgrown unhealthy versions of yourself — the ones built around survival, people-pleasing, or trying to keep the peace at any cost. But when you return to family gatherings or old dynamics, it can feel like you’re still stuck in those old roles, like nothing has changed.

Mother’s and Father’s Day can stir up a lot of emotion. There’s gratitude for the love we’ve received, but also grief over what we didn’t get. It’s easy to fall into old patterns — the “peacemaker,” the “fixer,” the “one who

always gives in.”

But what if this year could be different?

What if this year, instead of repeating the same cycle, you chose to honor the person you’re becoming — the one who has done the work, set boundaries, and started to heal?

This is your moment to stop shrinking to fit.

Here are 5 ways you can break the cycle this Mother’s or Father’s Day:

1. Acknowledge Your Growth

Start by acknowledging the person you’ve become. The work you’ve done. The ways you’ve grown. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come, especially when you're surrounded by familiar family dynamics. Take a moment to honor your journey and the steps you’ve taken to grow — even if that growth feels intimidating or uncomfortable.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying “no.” It’s about creating space for your needs, desires, and comfort. This Mother’s or Father’s Day, practice saying “no” when you need to — whether it’s to an uncomfortable situation, a request that doesn’t align with your values, or a family member’s behavior that no longer serves you. You have the right to protect your peace.

3. Release the Guilt

It’s common to feel guilty when we outgrow old patterns, especially with family. You might worry about disappointing others or fear that setting boundaries means rejecting them. But remember, releasing unhealthy patterns isn’t about rejecting love; it’s about creating healthier relationships. You don’t need to shrink to fit into someone else’s version of you. You’re allowed to take up space as your true self.

4. Be Present, Not Perfect

The pressure to “get it right” on these holidays can be overwhelming. But perfection isn’t the goal. Presence is. Instead of worrying about how things “should” be or playing a role you’ve outgrown, focus on being present. Engage with love, without trying to fit into an old narrative of what the day “has to” look like. Let it unfold naturally.

5. Have Compassion for Yourself (And Others)

Change can be hard for everyone involved. While you work on shifting your own patterns, extend compassion to your loved ones, too. They may not fully understand your growth, but that doesn’t mean they don’t care. Lead with love and patience, both with yourself and others. Be kind to yourself as you navigate these shifts, and allow space for your family to adjust, too.

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Mother’s and Father’s Day can be a time of deep reflection and growth, but it can also be an opportunity to make lasting changes. This year, instead of falling back into old dynamics, choose to create new ones that honor the person you are today.

No more shrinking to fit.

No more dimming your light.

This is your time to shine — and to show up as your most authentic self.

If you're ready to break free from old patterns and create healthier, more authentic relationships, I’d be honored to work with you. Together, we’ll unpack old dynamics, set boundaries that protect your peace, and step into the new version of you that’s been waiting to emerge.

Reach out today to schedule a session and begin your transformation.