About Me

Professional Background

In 2004, I started working at the treatment center in Los Angeles that had helped me get sober. It was the beginning of what would become my 15 year career in behavioral health.

I started out as a residential technician—a role I truly enjoyed. I spent most of my time with the clients. My role was to keep them safe, on track and remind them of their daily schedules. The real gift of the job was the opportunity to listen to people who felt that they hadn’t been heard for as long as they could remember.

After working in treatment, I was given the opportunity to become a recovery coach, working one-on-one with individuals struggling with substance abuse, mental illness, and eating disorders. I worked not only with our clients, but often with their families as well. I was able to offer their families education and understanding of substance abuse or mental illness.

As an outsider, I could mediate moments that had previously been triggering for all those involved.

After working as a recovery coach for 9 years, I became the admissions director for a reputable substance abuse facility here in New Mexico. Again, my role was to provide support to both the individuals struggling with substance abuse and their families. Together, we would work to find recovery for themselves or their loved one.

My Dream: Realized

In 2019, I was ready for a career change. I felt it was my calling to become a coach. But—as so many of us do—I let financial fears, imposter syndrome, and self doubt steer me away, towards a “safer” career choice.

Instead, I made the transition to working in senior living as a sales director. Once again, I enjoyed working closely with families, during what was a frightening time for both the parents and their adult children. I assisted parents in finding acceptance of the help they never wanted to admit that they needed. I supported children in moving into the role of caretaker. It was a privilege to walk alongside these families as they entered this new chapter of their lives.

Then in 2020, while at work, I contracted COVID-19 as an immunocompromised individual. I was sick for over 8 weeks (I had what we now call “long COVID,” but no one knew anything about that at the time.) I began to think, This is what the rest of my life may look like.

I promised myself: If I become healthy again, I will restructure my life in the way I’ve always wanted. I will create a life that I am living for myself—not for some idea of how I am “supposed to live.”

In 2021, like so many others working in healthcare, I left the senior living industry.

It was well past time to follow my true calling.

Now—in this reinvigorated version of my life that I fought so hard to build for myself—I get to empower people who want to create strong, healthy and secure relationships.

“I guess women have to almost die before we give ourselves permission to live how we want” - Glennon Doyle

My Journey

I came into this world sensitive to everyone and everything around me. Growing up in an unhealthy family system, I developed anxiety at an early age.

Fight or flight was my baseline.

The constant noise of my chaotic environment felt like it drowned out my existence entirely.

Romantic Relationships

My recovery journey has been a constant exploration of self—excavating all of the toxic sludge that was keeping me sick. This process also equipped me with the courage to no longer participate in toxic romantic relationships.

I spent years entangled in the webs of high conflict relationships. It was a constant struggle to avoid fights. I walked on eggshells, afraid I would "do something wrong,” internalizing every harmful word hurled in my direction.

Intellectually, I knew these romantic relationships were unhealthy. Emotionally, I confused the love-bombing, manipulation, and abuse for love. I rationalized that if I could just hang on a little longer, things would get better, and all of this would have been "worth it." If I left, it would mean that all of this suffering had been for nothing. So I would stay, to prove to myself that things would get better—like I’d been told they would. I knew deep down that not only were my partners lying to me, but I was also lying to myself.

That was not living. That was surviving...barely.

After struggling for a long time with unhealthy patterns that seemed to constantly manifest in my romantic relationships, I finally reached a point where I was ready to make a change. So, I sought help from someone who had walked the path I was on, someone who had experienced the same challenges but had successfully overcome them and was now living the kind of relationship life I aspired to.

With her guidance, I was able to gain clarity on the unhealthy patterns that had been shaping my relationships. She didn’t just help me recognize these behaviors, but also supported me in actively shifting them. Over time, I was able to transform my mindset and actions, moving toward a place of emotional health and self-awareness. As a result, I found myself in a position to attract a partner who was equally healthy, balanced, and aligned with the person I had become.

Family Dynamics

My healing process led me to uncover the layer underpinning my toxic romantic relationships—my toxic family system.

I spent the next few years facing some painful truths. My whole life, I had believed blatant gaslighting, and was conditioned to ignore the fact that my family’s behavior rarely aligned with their words. I had always felt a disconnect within myself, as our dynamic felt off, but I was repeatedly told that my perception was wrong, not the family’s.

Once I began focusing on my family’s actions instead of their words, it didn't take long to see the writing on the wall—My boundaries were consistently broken. My needs were often dismissed. I wasn't respected.

After many desperate attempts to express my experience, to set boundaries, and to go to therapy with my narcissist parent, I finally accepted that I had exhausted every possible avenue.

I ultimately chose to go no-contact with my narcissist parent in 2018.

This was deeply painful, but absolutely necessary. Going no-contact with a family member can be incredibly lonely. People will celebrate your bravery for leaving a toxic romantic relationship, but will shame you for leaving a toxic family relationship.

Once again, I reached out for help from someone who had been where I was and was now where I wanted to be. I found a mentor who not only shared how she navigated her journey but also pointed out the pitfalls and mistakes she had made along the way. With patience and care, she gently guided me through the process, helping me avoid the same missteps.

I was no longer alone. I began uncovering the bravest parts of myself and building a foundation of trust in who I was. I learned to listen to, validate, and trust my intuition. Along the way, I rediscovered my self-esteem, my voice, and, most importantly, myself.

Today

I trust myself.

I respect myself.

I no longer abandon myself.

I use my voice.

I live in the solution.

I stay in the light.

I empower others to do the same.

I am married to a wonderful man who is kind, compassionate and brave. We bring respect, joy, and so much love into our marriage. My husband comes from a loving, gentle, and kind family who has welcomed me with open arms. They’ve taught me so much about what it looks like to accept one another without judgement, manipulation, dishonesty or cruelty.

Today, the only people allowed in my orbit are those who are kind, supportive, and growing right alongside me.

Today, I live a life I am grateful for and proud of.

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